Author Archives: Fordiebianco

Club Classics. Only at Home?

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So last Friday the best girlfriend ever and myself were having a glass or Viognier while cooking my beloved Penne with rosemarie’d lamb in white wine, Heart FM’s club classics pumping out the stereo. Inspired by the bass lines of Jamiroquai, Incognito and Chic we were grooving around the kitchen, chopping onions and garlic, all while shimmying our middle-aged booties (in the best girlfriend’s ever case of course a middle aged bootie that looks like a teenage one). Then her attractiveness suddenly declared:

‘Why are there no clubs for middle-aged people? This is London, for goodness sake’

Doesn’t she have a point? We are a club-owners dream: moderately affluent enough not to survive an evening on lager-shandies (after already having drunk a bottle of 2 pound Vodka at home), old enough not to get hopelessly drunk, destroy the interior and annoy the other guests, young enough to still party like it’s 1999 (well, I was around thirty then, so I was getting on a bit already. I am sure that Prince never imagined that partying like 1999 would be something reminisced about by middle aged geezers). The 30 to 40 year olds should be positively begged to appear in clubs: spending like hell, but still responsible enough to be home at a sensible time , without leaving the club in tatters. Looking at the Guardian’s clubbing diary, I can’t find any clubs advertising club nights for the moderately aged.

For heaven’s sake, is it too much to ask for a club night in which I can drink a decent red wine or a glass of Hoegaarden or two, dance outrageously happy to intelligent funk and soul without having to listen to rappers telling me how they knifed somebody while having intercourse with a gangsta-bosses female associate?
The government should do something about it immediately. Maybe the Liberal Democrats could put it on their next manifesto?

‘If elected, we will endeavour to improve access to clubs to the criminally neglected age-bracket from 30 to 40 by scheduling dedicated funk nights in urban dance halls”

That could be the ultimate vote winner for the Lib Dems. Heck, I might even vote Tory if Boris Johnson would promise me free Jazz Funk nights every second Friday of the month in the Royal Albert Hall. Instead he wants to eliminate the smoking ban. Talk about the wrong priorities.

So instead I have to continue to use the kitchen floor as my dance floor, and do my JK impressions and the air bass-guitar moves with the casserole.

Groovy.

Yowsa! Jazz FM is back!

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I recently noticed some print ads in the Guardian depicting a multi-coloured chameleon, advertising the return of Jazz FM. And indeed, there it is, running on my trusty PURE DAB radio. This is of course such good news that I could jump up and squeal with glee. When I moved to London back in 2001, Jazz FM was the staple of my evening.  Sarah Ward’s Dinner Jazz program was such an exquisite collection of jazz tunes that the evening meal turned into a celebration. Even if it was only a take away curry. Unfortunately their ever changing schedule crowded the playlist with more and more bland soul and the excruciating ‘Smooth Jazz’ muzak, and soon Jazz FM turned into the even blander Smooth FM.

Then it was off the air. Then there was a DAB station called ‘The Jazz’. That went off the air as well. There was also a website called jazzfm.com. And now it’s back on DAB. After reading the two Wikipedia entries on JazzFM and 102.2 Jazz FM I am now even more confused.

Maybe somebody should tell Guardian Media Group that handling a brand like that is not really a good move.

Oh well. It’s nice to have them back. Maybe this time they’re allowed to stay on the air. Without ‘Smooth Jazz’, if at all possible.

 

P.S. On the issue of ‘Smooth Jazz’: read Pat Metheny’s rant on the Permapermed.

Downloading BBC Iplayer Content to your Linux Box

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As stated in the past, I am a huge fan of public broadcasting in general and the BBC in particular. While I have been able to watch my favourite documentaries on the flash based online Iplayer, I was always a bit miffed that I wasn’t able to download the shows and watch them in better quality.

Miffed I am no more, thanks to Phil Lewis’s brillant little tool ‘get iplayer’. An easy command line app, it searches and downloads the content that you are interested in and stores it on your HD for your time shifted viewing pleasure.

Installation and handling couldn’t be easier. A wonderful invention and quite timely too!

Get it here

Republicans’ Rants

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I have a new past time. It’s safe, entertaining, funny, does not involve any dangerous substances and only requires a working internet connection: I have started to read the comments under the op-eds in the New York Post. I accidentally stumbled over them after I went out looking for reputable media outlets away from the rabid right-wing blogosphere and the ever so annoying Fox News. What I found was the New York Post, a Murdoch owned red top that comes closely in tone and editorial content to scourge of the British media, The Sun. It’s editorials have an obvious republican slant and represent Murdochs preference in politics and politicians, so it’s a fair representation of middle of the road republican opinion. So, while the op-ed pieces are getting more embittered the further Obama is pulling away in the polls (the latest accuses the republicans for electing the wrong candidate, because McCain is just not conservative enough) and are already quite enlightening, the real fun is to be found in the comments, where Joe Six Pack and the Hockeymums (not my terminology, but the Governor of Alaska’s) let rip. Let’s have some excerpts:

“…If America elects this crowd of bitter, whining, excuse-making, America-hating losers (the Obama team), they will have us on par with the people’s paradise of Cuba, Nicaragua or Venezuela within years….”

“…GOD BLESS AMERICA, AND SAVE US FROM OBAMA AND ALL THE LEFTIST, LIBERAL DEMOCRATS WHO WOULD DESTROY THIS COUNTRY.”

Here’s one who obviously doesn’t listen to Limbaugh and doesn’t watch Fox News:

“…Are you kidding!!! Every media source in this country is shamefully liberal and democrat. The movie industry, television talk shows, news shows, newspapers, music industry. All shamefully and some obnoxiously biased toward the democrats….”

“…The jackals in the Press pledged their allegience to Obama months ago and don’t care who knows it. They are fellow travelers in the Marxist march to take over the government…”

“…OBAMA, accompanied by the Marxists, Socialists, and his kool-aid drinking believers, are being protected for now, but they will come out of hiding if this Election goes their way. Obama is dangerously inexperienced, yet arrogant in his ignorance, and will change this Country into the so-called Utopia that Socialists have been seeking for 50 years…”

Aren’t they funny? I can happily recommend this lovely way of spending a couple of minutes in front of the computer. The Post and its readers will always provide for a good laugh. And it helps to explain why so many people are still voting Republican: the ‘culturewar’ is very real to these people. They are worried that come January they will wake up in a ‘Socialist Utopia’.

Gosh.