Dear Gordon,

I was delighted when you succeeded that belligerent twerp Tony Blair. I was hoping for a thoughtful, intellectual, measured, competent technocrat with the social conscience of a presbyterian minister and the economic prowess of a long term chancellor. I would have voted for you back in  2007 if you would have given me a chance.

Unfortunately you turned out to be an unmitigated disaster.

While still able to lead on international subjects, you completely lost it in the domestic arena and surrounded yourself with a bunch of incompetent yay-sayers. Your thoughtfulness turned into dithering. You turned out to have the political response time of a galapagos turtle. You have been eclipsed in every aspect of domestic policies by the Tories and gave the BNP the chance to poison the minds of the very electorate that you should be able to bank on, the white blue collar worker.

I’ve had it with you. Please save this country from the BNP and the Tories and leave now. Let the smoking remnants of the Labour Party go into a coalition government with the LibDems and let the healing begin.

I wish you all the best in your future career as a visiting professor for economics at the University of St Andrews and hope that your life will be a fulfilled one. It’s probably the best for us all.

Sincerely,

FB

AF 447: a metereological analysis

For those of you with an interest in aviation and weather, have a look at Tim Vasquez’ analysis of the weather in the intertropical convergence zone that AF447 had to fly through. Immensely educational and interesting.

Link here.

Garfunkel and Oates

May I please make you aware of the homepage of the most entertaining songstresses since Siegfried and Roy: Garfunkel and Oates make lovely, lovely songs with hilarious lyrics. They of course get extra special bonus points for perusing the Ukulele and singing about Sex with Ducks.

Take a break and enjoy this lovely song about that face you make when you get an ugly sweater for christmas (it has happened to me, you know. I was thirteen and wasn’t pleased a bit).

Executive recommendations.

Today I was leafing through a report produced by the Department of Health here in England, titled “Transforming community services: enabling new patterns of provision” .  Fortunately the lovely people writing these reports always put the most important statements at the beginning of the reports (called executive summary), so the busy executives don’t have to read the whole thing. This report is “intended to help PCT providers of community services to move their relationship with their commissioners to a purely contractual one, consider what type(s) of organisations would best meet the future needs of patients and local communities, and how change can be managed to support the transformation of services to patients”.

Aha. Quite a mouthful.

Well, the first point for chief executives is:

the drivers are for modern, innovative community services that have direct benefits for patients,
are responsive to local need, and promote seamless care through increased opportunities for
integration of health and social care services;

After that sentence I gave up. “The drivers are for modern [..] services that have direct benefits for patients” ? What kind of a grammatical construct is that?

And who will ever know what it’s supposed to mean?

Hifi Bossanova: The review

Well I’d like to think I fly in a kind of retro style, 

well I’ve heard it all before but I’m feeling it again.

 

 

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This is the first line of the first track on Matt Bianco’s new album
Hifi Bossanova
and pretty much sums the album up in one contorted sentence. After the short lived reunion of the original line up for ‘Matt’s Mood’ (which, in my humble opinion was nothing but a calculated move by Basia to give her non existing career a shot in the arm) the new album has reunited the duo of Mark Reilly and Mark Fisher. Those two shaped the sound of this band over the decades and should by all means be regarded as Matt Bianco proper.

Interestingly, this is the first collaboration of those two in 7 years since they released Echoes.  But this time things are different: they have secured a contract with big German independent label ‘Edel’ and will be releasing their new oevre in Europe and the UK (if I remember correctly this is the first UK release since 1991’s ‘Samba in Your Casa‘) while their trusty label in Japan – JVC-Victor – will release Hifi Bossanova in Asia. There will even be a tour.  So all the portents point to a commercial success. But, what is it actually like?

Well, it’s different. Not different as in ‘Aaargh, that’s terrible’, no, just different from their last records. They have shed what I call  their ‘e-Latino’ sound (all uptempo drum loops, housey hihats and claptraps)  and have returned ironically to the more acoustic feel of the first MB album back in 1984. You could call it “Stan Getz and Joao Gilberto meet Baden Powell in 1984 in a cafe where they’re playing Steely Dan in the background”. Makes sense? It’s not as catchy as their previous albums: Every MB record in the past had some songs that you were able to hum instantly (Fire, ‘Cha Cha Cuba‘ and ‘Lost in you’ come to mind), but this time things are a bit more grown up, more sophisticated. You could even call it Sophistipop. The percussion and drums are more organic, more midtempo and chugging along nicely in the background (it’s not all bossanova, though). The melodies are more complex and grow more slowly on you than in the previous albums. It certainly takes a little while to get used to the different harmonics and singing/whistling/humming along to it takes you a little bit longer than usual. Which is not necessarily a bad thing as you just want to listen to it more and more. Now don’t think that Fisher and Reilly are reinventing the wheel with this: there are still plenty of the usual MB ingredients: plenty of vocodered ‘boom chicka chicka’ sounds, there is some  ‘te tumba’-ing  (in the bossanova’d version of ‘Lost in you’) and ‘ah – be da’ ing going on and Mark Reilly’s lyrics are, well, still Mark Reilly’s lyrics. There is also plenty to hear from their female vocalist Hazel Sim who sounds so much more appropriate for this material than Basia (less pathos is often a good thing) and gels well with Mark Reilly’s timbre.  Highlights of the album are the title track, ‘Always on my mind’ (no, not another Elvis cover) and the divine ‘Someone else’s dream’ and yes, there is the odd stinker as well, but after listening to the thing for 5 days almost continuously I can happily say that I am delighted with it. This is the first Matt Bianco album in which Fisher and Reilly must have said ‘sod the teenage market’ and focussed on their core audience of men and women ‘of a certain age’ (middle class geezers and ladies in their late thirties and above).

Well, there’s certainly plenty of us around who will gladly shell out money for this gem of an album. Let it be all over the charts and I’m already looking forward to the tour.

Well done, chaps.