I am an All Black

So, I am an All Black. Well, not really, but I can play rugby like an All Black. Ok, that’s a lie, but I am built like an All Black. Plus the beer gut. Ok, so I look like a retired All Black. With a teeny weeny bit of extra kilos.

Oh, ok, you rumbled me. I look like a retired All Black with a weight problem. Without the cauliflower ears, the sports car or the gambling habit, but at least I lived in North Otago for 6 years, and I know the sister of an All Black.

But today I feel like an All Black. Because today the All Blacks played one of their best games ever (with abysmal kicking, but what can you do) and I watched it on an Ipad, in bed, with the best ever girl friend cuddled up to me, hurtling abuse at Australians (her, not me).

So today I am an All Black. Me and the other million exiled Kiwis in London.

New car, greener household


So I bought a new car. The Lada was starting to give me a little bit of grief, and to be honest, it was not particularly easy on the fuel. I nevertheless miss its Soviet goodness on my driveway, and it was certainly a car that created plenty of amazed onlookers. The happiest were always gentlemen of a certain age with an East European accent, who would come up to me and say ‘Why do you drive this piece of shit?’ but then proceed to have a look around it and a certain romantic look would appear on their faces, and a soft ‘I used to drive one of those in the eighties, never let me down’, and they would make cooing noises when looking inside and admiring the communist dashboard chic.

The gentlemen from the dealership that sold me my new car had a similar response: seconds after I abandoned Ivor (that was the Lada’s name) on their courtyard a gaggle of mechanics gathered around it, popped the bonnet and made excited sounds.

What did I get? Well, I didn’t want to spend a lot of money, I wanted the car to be a 5 door hatch and it was supposed to be as frugal as possible. Enter the Suzuki Alto, a small, reasonably priced hatchback that had moderately good reviews all over the web. It’s made in India by Maruti but nevertheless has a good track record for built quality. The price was definitely competitive: 6800 pounds for the whole shebang, including the more expensive paint job.

So, what do you get for the money? Well, its build quality is inferior to the Kia Picanto (our last hatch), but then the new Picanto is 1500 pounds more expensive. The doors and the rear hatch certainly lack that ‘heavy’ quality feel that the KIA (yes, I know, it’s funny) and the interior seems smaller and certainly doesn’t have the finesse of the Picanto, but:

the drive is fun, it’s quick of the mark, it certainly is great on country roads (where it will mostly reside), the stereo is excellent and it looks quite cute. The best girlfriend ever is certainly happy to pass the Jimny over to me (not quick enough, she says) and I’m happy that I have a small and reliable 4WD to take me to the station in the morning.

But I will miss my Lada.

It’s getting worse, folks..

Right, the step into middleaged, right – wing middle classdom seems to be inevitable, as the Daily Mail agrees with me on the BBC Radio3 issue:

“Breakfast on Radio 3 ‘has become Radio 2.5,’ say listeners who accuse BBC of cultural vandalism”

Well, unfortunately I have to agree with them. The hyperactive presentation reminds you of the worst excesses of Chris Evans, and the music is as demanding as an episode of ‘Murder she wrote’.

You really have to ask yourself: what were they thinking?

 

BBC Radio3

You know you have reached the stage of being a grumpy old man when you start complaining about Radio3 scheduling, but there we are.

Until recently there used to be three shows in the morning that would deliver pretty much continuous classical music.

Now there is ‘Essential Classics’, which sounds to me like a compilation CD from Morrisons. There are now ‘daily brainteasers’ and some guests who are asked to talk about their love of music.

If the controller of Radio3, a chap called Roger Wright, would try any harder to make this sound like ‘Classic FM’, all he would need to do now is introduce commercials.

All I want from his station is as much good music as possible, the works always in their entirety, I playlist so I can see what’s playing and as little talking as possible. You think he would get that.

Dear Flying Spaghetti Monster…

please, oh please let Sarah Palin run for presidency, so we can have Bachmann, Perry and the Palster herself slugging it out on prime time tv.

Best TV ever!

Thank you, your noodly appendage.