Author Archives: Fordiebianco

Product naming gone scatological

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Last weekend the best girlfriend ever leisurely leafed through one of her interior design magazines, when her lovely brown eyes fell on this:

P1010720

 

Now, I don’t know whether you’re aware of the Germans’ favourite word, but it’s what they called this lamp: ‘Scheisse’. In French ‘merde’, in English ‘shit’, this is not something I would call my lamp. It’s not that ugly, and it really does not deserves this scatological description. Our initial thought was that a German copywriter at this particular magazine had a bit of grudge, but it turns out that ‘Scheisse’ is its proper name. Proudly displayed on its home page.

The only question remains: Should someone tell them?

Wouldn’t you already know that it’s a dark, handsome stranger?

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Dark, handsome…

“The College was founded 125 years ago by a group of eminent scholars and scientists.  Its purpose was to facilitate formal investigation into the psychic and mediumistic phenomena that were such a topic of debate in the Victoria era.”

They now offer courses in Meditation, Energy Work (I assume that has nothing to do with electricians), Divination,  Psychic Development, Trance and Healing. They also advertised for the position of Principal in yesterday’s Guardian. Now, I am not sure how evidence based their methods are and how grounded in physics their offerings are, but for instance the course “Mediumship” offers the aspiring medium:

“Suitable for mediums with some experience of giving readings or doing platform to fine tune your skills and improve the quality and detail of messages and evidence. This benefits private sittings, platform work and improving clarity when making personal life choices. You will be encouraged to push furt your unique ability with plenty support, motivation and mentoring.”

Now, I have never been to one of those shindigs, but isn’t the whole purpose of being a medium (and, this being the College of Psychic studies they should have loads of advanced models) that you already know what’s going to happen in the future and who will cross your path?  This is highly disappointing and I am certainly reviewing my intent to enroll and become a remote viewer, healer, crystal teacher and Tarot consultant.

I can nevertheless see in the very short term future the arrival of a small package, containing the new Matt Bianco album.

USA! USA!

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So,

after spending two weeks in the United States of America, what’s the appropriate way to reflect on it? Well, first of all, measure it by its entertainment value: it was bucketloads of fun. The best girlfriend ever and myself sitting in our enormous Lincoln Town Car, listening to BobFM (which seems to be ubiquitous in the U.S.), cruising through the backwaters of the Mid-West and Texas, happily chatting away, looking at the strange sights outside our rolling fortress and connecting with the locals (“How are y’alls today? Would you mind if I’ ask you for one of your fancy foreign coins?”) had a blast and thanks to Theophilia and Theophonia (the two Town Cars) it was one of the most relaxing drives ever.

Never knowingly beaten in length. Or fuel usage.

I am already thinking about getting one of those over to the UK, but I think they might not fit in my garage. Having a walk around three Mid-Western campuses was certainly enlightening, and I find it reassuring that students are still practising the ancient art of dancing at lunchtime in the middle of the campus (huh?)

We where exceedingly lucky that everywhere we went the sun was shining, the autumn leaves were still on the trees and hurricane Sandy huffed and puffed in a safe distance from us, especially as we took a flight to Houston to check out Austin and catch some serious sun (I promptly burned by scalp. Again). Interesting place, Austin. One of the fastest growing cities in the U.S., the place oozed casual coolness, and even on a Wednesday morning, you would see hipster geeks sitting in open air cafes, nursing their lattes and drafting memos to their future investors.

Loads of ‘Texans for Obama’ stickers, loads of live music venues and one of the coolest hotels we ever stayed in: if you can manage to stay for a night at the ‘W’ in Austin, please do. And just to worship in front of the altar of Mcintosh: yes, their bar’s audio setup is made out of vintage Mcintosh. Have a look.

Admittedly, this would look good in my living room

 

No proper geek could visit Houston without popping along to NASA, so the best girlfriend and I drove down to the coast to Houston Space Centre, did the grand tour, marvelled at the Saturn V, sat in the chairs behind the old Apollo control room and examined Moon rocks critically.

Marvellous.

So, after two weeks of driving up and down the country, one can’t be helped but be bowled over by the cheerfulness of the locals, the vastness of the place and the weirdness of its politics. The U.S. continues to refuse to follow the path of secularisation that the rest of the world has taken and is still steeped in the language of the bible (or the book of moron mormon, whatever your tickles your fancy). Once they get over that hurdle, I am sure we will get along spiffingly.

 

 

 

1 week down, 1 week to go.

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After one week in the United States it is time to halt a minute and review progress so far: the best girlfriend ever and I have driven 1200 miles in 6 days, crossed 6 states and visited a few places that are not your typical U.S. garden spots. Nevertheless being off the typical tourist track (apart from Washington D.C.) Cleveland, Ann Arbor, Detroit, Fort Wayne and Lafayette gave us invaluable insight into a deeply divided nation that is trying to get excited about the forthcoming elections but is not particular bothered.

Driving through the Mid-West it was quite obvious that these states are firmly divided between rural and urban communities. From Washington D.C.to Cleveland we did not see or hear one democratic ad, either on the road side or on the radio. Instead, we were bombarded by misleading messages from the fossil fuel industry, local chambers of commerce and rich individuals, urging us to reverse the push towards sustainable energy and rather vote for supporters of local coal and gas. As soon as we crossed into towns and cities with more that 10.000 inhabitants, the Obama/Biden signs started to appear and the local radio stations started featuring the more optimistic democratic ads. The wonderful people we met, all with undergraduate or postgraduate degrees, were often embarrassed by their fellow conservative citizens and felt that they the agenda pushed by the Republican lobby was comparable to a slow Christian talibanisation of this great country, with one of our friends referring to the ‘Powell Memorandum‘ as proof that since the seventies progressive agendas have stalled. With the Republicans moving to a Stone Age form of conservatism that has nothing to do with the pre-Reagan conservatives, the religiosity of their current party would certainly be anathema for those earlier conservatives. Newspaper and television commentary on the current issues facing the U.S.A felt insular and isolationist, emphasising the perceived amorphous, dangerous and threatening blob that is China, which needs to be ‘stood up against’ and ‘to be kept in check’. As the biggest bond holder of American debt you can hear the Chinese chuckling merrily all the way from Peking when they hear this unnecessary and dangerous posturing. Add to this the constant reminders of the Republican stakeholders that their view of rape and female empowerment are obviously taken from the Old Testament, I would hate to get into a political argument with a GOP voter, but as I am at this very moment on my way to Texas, this is becoming more likely by the kilometre. Just to demonstrate how suspicious your regular American is of anything foreign, our pilot today had to reassure passengers that the Airbus that they were sitting in was “an exceptionally well made European aircraft”.

Nevertheless, even though this place is often inexplicable for the common European tourist, there is one thing that seems to be characteristic for the vast majority of this diverse society. For this, let me quote Garrison Keillor:

Cheerfulness is a choice people make. Happiness is something else – happiness happens to you, rarely, like when Minnesota beats Michigan, and you don’t get to choose it. Joy is a theological concept. Contentment is something that happens to other people, the Inuit, for example, or the Micmac, or Basque sheepherders, or people in Nebraska. Not you or me. But we can choose to be cheerful and loose or jazzy, in the face whatever life throws our way. […]

Cheerfulness is the great American virtue, found in Emerson, Whitman, Emily Dickinson, Mark Twain, and also in cafes and taverns and workplaces all over America. Academics tend to be negative, especially in the humanities – certain educations are a depressant – and of course young people have an obligation to be morbid and filled with angst and stay up late and brood. NOT MY JOB.”