Kia Ora,

we’re a bit late for the game of the All-Whites against those eleven men who easily fall over and cry (also known as the current World Champion) but at present (37 minutes) it’s a sensational 1:1 and the Italians either fall over and cry without any discernible contact or shoot on goal, while the Kiwis defend (slightly sheepishly) like lions

38:30 de Rossi falls over in a Shakespearan fashion. Why? Freekick fails to connect

Marcello Lippi looks like a dapper Michael Parkinson in his red track suit. Very stylish.

45:00 Half time. The Italians look like 11 very camp men trying to ram the All-Whites defenses but falling over repeatedly in the process. There is a very close resemblance to this.

65:00 There continues to be general shooting on one goal. Italians still fall over far too easlily

70:00 Great save by Paston. No Italians were hurt during this save.

82:05 BRILLANT SHOT by Wood on Italian goal. just a little wide.

86:00 Nelson gets a yellow card for being injured. Calls for a some psychoanalysis for the referee get louder.

94.23 It’s over!! New Zealand gain another point.

It’s box of fluffy ducks time!!