Hold on to your seats, ladies and gentlemen, put on your hats, pour the Pimms, scoff the strawberries and make yourself comfy in front of the TV: Wimbledon is starting again. This year with the added bonus of a possible British contender. While he’s only being held as a contender because Rafael Nadal isn’t starting, Andy Murray will nevertheless become the most talked about Scotsman over the next two weeks, giving Gordon Brown a welcome break. The English will probably try to naturalise him, maybe even giving his some good natured hoots from ‘Henman Hill’, though he will probably never incite the same sort of shrieks that Henny Henman got from his female audience (and of course the obligatory ‘COME ON, TIM’ just when he wanted to serve). It must be the absence of the henmanian mop of hair.

I am looking forward to some proper tennis, though I am delighted that I am not present at the court, as I would probably interrupted in my enjoyment of this beautiful game by the shrieks of Michelle Larcher de Brito, whose shrieks are apparenly audible over 3 courts and whose exclamations apparently are lasting forever (and decibels in the ‘747 taking off’ range).

I wonder whether Health and Safety should be involved and punters issued with earplugs?