Today I learned that I belong to the fourth largest foreign cultural group in the UK, behind my fellow citizens from Pakistan, Poland and the Hispanics (which I presume are from South America and Spain). That of course means that the local councils should treat me like the ethnic minority that I am and allow some leeway for my cultural preferences. That’s the same argument that the Irish Travellers use for their retrospective planning permission requests, so that should apply to me as well.
Hence I am planning the building of a 30 feet tall Black Forest Cuckoo Clock in St James’s Park, complete with a stage for an umpah band, a life sized cuckoo that will eminate every thirty minutes from its flat in third story of the cuckoo clock tower and yodel (amplified by a 1000 Watt sound system) over the lush park area. After finishing it I will move in and expect the council to grant retrospective planning permission, as this is traditional for my culture, and I belong to the fourth largest in the country. Now that’s some muscle.